Cait


One of my best friends is called Cait. I wrote her this poem in an attempt to cheer her up and also celebrate our newly found friendship. I tend to do this a lot so if you need cheering up, drop me a line being all like “Yo, Em, I’m not feeling great. Little help?” and I’ll write you something!

Right, here we go.

Let me tell you about my friend Cait.
She isn’t small, she’s fun-sized, a fantastic trait.
She’s got big, beautiful eyes and she is never late.
She’s my new best friend, is Cait.

Let me tell you about my friend Cait,
And how men would kill to take her on a date!
As long as they don’t smell or tempt fate,
Things may progress further with my friend Cait…

Let me tell you about my friend Cait,
And how certain men (some of whom, we hate)
Have treated her like shit of late,
She doesn’t deserve such injustice, does Cait.

Let me tell you about my friend Cait,
And how awesome she has been as a mate,
If she asked for a cider, I’d buy her an entire crate.
She’s a remarkable lady, is my friend Cait.

Let me tell you about my friend Cait,
And how this poem is getting awkward at an alarming rate
Because bust like a fisherman that’s run out of bait,
I’m running out of words that rhyme with Cait…

One last thing about my friend Cait,
She got smaller feet than one would estimate!
She’s funny and pretty, someone I would never slate.
To sum up, she’s pretty freaking great, is Cait.

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