As you all know, I have to wear glasses all the time. They’re large, round Karen Millen frames, and I love them. The reason I have to wear them all the time is because my eyesight is beyond crap. I’m unbelievably long-sighted, and have been for as long as I can remember. From the the age of five until the age of 9 I was a firm believer in the idea that  at that age, if you wore glasses, you got bullied. End of. Ergo, at the age of 5 when I was told I would have to wear glasses forever, I sat in my living room and cried for three hours.

Unlike wine, my vision has most definitely not improved with age, and I still have to wear my gigs. It’s not all bad though, they’ve grown on me recently, particularly since I’ve found I suit large, designer frames (thanks mum!). Not only are they stylish and do their job well, but they’re a fantastic conversation starter. That being said, these conversations can vary massively. Let me give you some examples:

There’s the classic, “Oh, I love your glasses!”
Or an even more lighthearted, “Oh cool, you were glasses?”
Then the slightly more obscure, “Wow, they make your eyes look MASSIVE!”
And even, (put forward by someone who shall not be named) “Ha, they make you look like a grandmother”. I know, right? Harsh.

My all time favourite though, has to be this. “Oh cool, can I try them on??”
Now. My fellow four-eyes all over the world will agree with me when I say that one finds oneself in a delicate situation when this question is raised. There are two options:-

  1. You can agree, remove them from your face and gently hand them over, and then listen to the other guy vividly describing what he can/can’t make out, providing a real indication of the severity of your blindness.
  2. You can say, “Oh, I would but I literally can’t see without them, I get terrible headaches”, thus evading awkward balloons and maintaining the conversation whilst proving your own indication of the severity of your blindness.

It doesn’t matter which option you choose, for the end result is always the same. The glasses are torn from your face before you have the chance to say anything and then the other guy screams, “OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO BLIND!” extremely loudly, regardless of where you are.

Why is it that people do that? You’d never ask a person in a wheelchair if you could “take it for a spin”, and then before they have a chance to say anything, throw them from their chair, jump into it and start wheeling it about saying, “My god, life really does SUCK for you, doesn’t it?!”, would you?

OK, I’ll admit it’s a different situation but the concept is the same. Show some respect, people.


One comment

  1. Rik Davnall (@eatthepen) · July 18, 2012

    I eventually developed a third option: ‘I get violent when people take my glasses.’ #protip



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