Cometh the Hour. Cometh the Rap.


John

  • Yo, Em-zy Emz, you thinkin’ yo’ fly,
    You got mad language skillz, spanish speakin’ ’till you die
    I’m hearin’ all that yo’ sayin’, like, my, oh my
    Wit’ mah fiddle an’ my folk playin’…
    …Um…
    What rhymes with my?

Emily

  • Hahaha that is the single most wonderful rap I’ve ever imagined.
    sky/shy/cry/high

John

  • We should rap duet.
  • Finish my rap, duet buddle.
  • *buddy
  • In fact, let’s have a duel. Right now.
  • C’mon, yo.

Emily

  • Bitch, please.
  • You must have a mental disease.

John

  • Ohhhhhh, yo’ pretty li’l white girl, you talkin’ mighty big,
    You sayin’ I got problems, when you rhyming like a pig,
    Yo’ skills be drivin’ me to drink, gonna have to take a swig,
    Yo’ powers come to nothin’, they depressin’ me to shiy-dt

Emily

  • Ooooooooh, yo’ be talkin’ like you rule the world, you ain’ nothin’ but a little girl
    Yo’ be sayin’ all this punk ass shit but yo’ head iz full of curls’
    Like goldilocks in the hood, all the porridge will make yo’ wanna hurl
  • You clearly won that one.

John

  • Wh-what, wh-what, what did you say!?
    Accusin’ me o’ fairy tales, and dissin my toupee?
    We arguin’ so bitter, girl, but I got a hunch
    This shit gon’ carry on when I’m-a-buyin’ yo’ lunch
    YO
    Fairy tales, never fail,
    Original work?
    You rippin’ off them kiddy tales that taught us Jill gets hurt
    Yo, I cut my hair short, keep yo’ info up to date
    ‘Cos if yo’ stuff ain’t to the point, you just inspirin’ hate

John

  • BOOM

Emily

  • BITCHES be doubtin’ my rappin’ skillz?
    get yo’ ass ready for some rhymin’ thrillz.
    fairy tales or not, yo’ got me doin’ drillz
    i’m like a fish on dry land, there ain’t no reason for my gillz
    YO
    I’m evolvin’,
    like Charles Darwin,
    the speed of my rhymin gettin’ worse is alarmin’
    so let’s leave this here before I call out prince charmin’!

Emily

  • THAT’S RIGHT.

John

  • I just got taken for a ride. Damn,
  • I.. damn.

Emily

  • Told you I had an inner black woman.

John

  • By the way, we’re making this a thing. This has become a thing now.

Emily

  • Ha, brilliant.

John

  • You don’t get any choice
  • You need someone to keep talking english at you when you’re in spain, anyway, or you’ll just forget it all.
  • It might as well be in the form of rap.

Emily

  • That is a very good point. All the Spanish and Italian might push out the English.
  • We cannot let that happen.

John

  • Don’t worry. I’ll personally take on that responsibility.
  • Because, you know, that’s how language works. Totally.

Emily

  • All the way. I’m actually going to post that on my blog. Right now. You don’t get a say in this.

…and that’s basically how it went down.

Starring: John Derbyshire and Emily Eccles. The whitest people you will ever meet.

One comment

  1. Rik Davnall (@eatthepen) · August 6, 2012

    I… just… I….

    Nope, there are no words. You rapped them all.

    Like

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